I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
Know what's awesome? Flying a mini helicopter while you shit.
My liver is crying. And I feel like I got fingered by Edward Scissorhands. While he was wearing brass knuckles
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
Hey did you take a shower last night at like 4am?
"ummm...." (Thinking in my head) wet towel, soaking wet hair, clean pjs on backwards... "that would make more sense then what I thought happened..."
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
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