yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
First dip in a brand new jar of Nutella, and my man’s dick are two things I will not fucking share.
Hi I am on my way. I stopped and got the cheeseburger you asked for. Are you gonna pay me back?
Who is this?
What you have to understand is that our lives aren't a disappointment so much as they crashed and burned with lethal doses of radiation and dog shit.
Randomize