She is in my trunk
Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
Have you seen my high heels that I wore out?
You mean the one that you threw at the parked cop car or the one in the microwave?
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
He doesn't need a wingman, he needs a miracle
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
trying to figure out why the only thing in our freezer is an expired loaf of bread, a white t shirt, and a receipt from taco bell for 37.50 from last Friday
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
Pretty sure I just scored Election Day sex based on the theory that if either of these fools win the world as we know it is over so we might as well get a few orgasms in...
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
Randomize
