no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
I just finished spraying the foam party off my pumps with a garden hose
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
Jungle juice turns everything into a pickup line. All I said was "do you play chess" and somehow I got laid.
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
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