who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
Just stepped off the plane in St. Louis. I'm breaking out in hives, I'm allergic to Midwesterners. Can't WAIT to get the fuck out of here.
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
I'm sorry I never said I wasn't coming home last night. To my defense I did type and send a text, only I was too drunk to realize I sent it to the guy I was with instead of you.
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
I just had sex on my divorce papers. I've never felt so poetic.
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
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