please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
im watching my roommate bang this girl. she doesn't look like she's any good, because he has a bored look on his face...
So I'm eating my burger minding my own business, when the guy next to me starts up a conversation. Seemed normal at first, stocks, bonds, etc...then he said...and I quote "I can push a bowling-ball up a flight of stairs with my tongue." As I awkwardly laughed he broke out "I bet you I could bite the head off of a rabbit."
you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
We spent three hours cleaning our room this morning. It was spotless and smelling good. I come home from work tonight and she has already smoked weed in it and "accidently" spilled vodka on the floor.
I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
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