He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
I think we were cool up until the point where he saw that planned parenthood was on my speed dial.
Hurry up. We're trading phones to prevent drunk texting.
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
You know, he picked a really shitty time to stop sleeping with me to pay attention to his girlfriend.
This was my thought process as I drunkenly ran home: Whoa! I'm going so FAST! Why don't I run EVERYWHERE! ALL THE TIME! Then I peed in a bush and passed out on the ground.
So basically you were a dog.
fact: I now appreciate my drunken winter self even more. I just found $20 in my winter coat with a note that says keep yourself warm next winter. I am awesome.
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
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