if you are receiving this text, you are one of the people i hate
Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
He was trying to put his hand up my shirt but I remembered the coke was stashed in my bra so I moved his hand to my pants
my bedside table was not meant to hold this many beer bottles.
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
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