we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
He's doing the 1:45AM lap: he goes around the bar, finds the hottest crying girl 15 minutes before close, and brings her home. I would feel bad for the girls if it wasn't such incredible genius.
My freaking DENTIST just commented on my hickies. Through the novacaine I managed to mumble 'It was my birthday' and she smiled knowingly.
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Wesley from the Princess Bride. I kept telling him what I wanted him to do and all he would say was "as you wish"
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
I'm finally in my bed, my pants are off, and there's no pee on my carpet this is the best life has been all day
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
Randomize
