Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
What do I have to do to get you laid? I talked to that girl with the ugly dog for 45 minutes trying to get you in, and all you said was "Steven Spielberg is my favorite director."
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
FUCK YOU IM DRINKING WINE FROM A BOX
You okay there or need a ride? Maybe a straw for your box
Maybe a straw...
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