Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
I found my phone outside under the leaves by the curb. What the fuck did I do last night
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
YOU NEED TO STOP BLOWING DUDES ON MY COUCH AT MY PARTIES
YOU NEED TO STOP PROVIDING TEQUILA AT YOUR PARTIES
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
He's so vague sometimes. Like dude, we've been friends for 3 years. I don't need you to be vague, I need you to be inside of my vagina.
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Randomize
