My balls are so social today.
he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
If I die, I leave all my liquor in my apartment to you. Be a drunk bitch at my funeral. I wouldn't want it any other way.
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT
Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink.
Not yoga, whiskey. Totally mis-typed whiskey.
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
Randomize
