sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
I'm very fluent in vodka, but that seems to be a whiskey dialect.
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
You declared war on your ex and then had sex with who you thought was her sister. No one knows who she was but we think your dick might be in danger.
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
Just me, my martini, and my backup Martini.
Do you have feelings for this penis?
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
if I start to respond to these political texts with a middle finger emoji - do you think they will get the hint?
Randomize
