MY DAD AND I ARE ON OUR WAY OUT OF FLORENCE AND I JUST SAW A MAN AT A BUS STOP WITH A GIMP HAND SLAP HIS DAUGHTER ACROSS THE FACE WITH IT.
i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
For not really liking Christmas, I have an astounding amount of holiday-themed lingerie
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
Randomize
