i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
She just kept introducing me to people by telling them which of their friends I've fucked
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
I was just shot with a dart gun by one of my coworkers while walking to the printer. Ironically I was printing my resignation letter...
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
Are these your boobs on my camera?
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