fuck the hobbit
what about unicorns?
fuck those pointy horses
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
Single person behavior: I wanted a cookie but was too lazy to make or go buy any, so I let cookie dough ice cream melt and ate all the chunks. Pantsless.
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
Like, my vagina is jet-lagged.
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
Randomize
