Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
I'm pretty sure his head is too big to fit between my legs. Worthless.
so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
nothing says "you're fucked" like watching a movie with the family and a handle of vodka comes crashing down from your hiding spot in the ceiling tiles.
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
The kind of drunk where you put two tampons in thinking that it'll last me longer ...
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
just once i'd like to actually BE there for your crazy drunk stories instead of just getting the play-by-play by people who can't remember half of it
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
Randomize
