I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
Thank you for holding my vodka while the police let me ride their horse.
This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
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