Non-Jews are for practice
The midget we rented got so drunk last night he got carted off in an ambulance
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
DUDE EDDIE MURPHY JUST DID A BODY SHOT OFF A HOOKER. IM NEVER COMING HOME
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
That moment when your whole family facetimed you just moments before you threw up all over the entire living room
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
You ever fart so hard while you are asleep that you wake up screaming?
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
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