Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
Awesome, the library of congress archived all tweets. Now my great great grandchildren can pinpoint the date they inherited alcoholism.
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
She told me she brought a guy home but that he looked pickled. And no, that's not an autocorrect.
Hahahah pickled
I asked her what she meant and she said that he looked like he had soaked in water.
I have feelings that need drinking.
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
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