ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
so..some girl walked up to me on the porch last night. She came to apologize for peeing on our lawn a few days ago. I just looked at her and said it was ok, she wasn't the first.
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
I need to cry about outer space to someone. Can I call you?
I JUST MACED MY OWN FACE
This is by far the best text I have ever woken up to.
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
Best surprise in my car. A cookie, sliced kiwi and the rest of my margarita. Work is going to be awesome.
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
Randomize
