Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
Is "sorry I booted you out mid-fuck last night" a good icebreaker?
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
you kept shouting 'jesus penis' when i was on the phone with 911
Randomize
