hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
Guy hitting on me at bar is guy who's Craigslist ad we laughed at the other night. Not even kidding.
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
I'm on tinder and every time somebody says something too creepy for me I start quoting scripture at them. My boobs are like missionaries.
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
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