i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
I walked into a McDonalds at 8:30 am with a half-eaten apple and a solo cup. Never felt so judged.
It's gameday bitch. Man up.
We duck taped Dave to a rolling chair and shoved him in the bed of the truck then took off for a bit.. We didn't explain it that way when the nurse asked what happened though.
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
You know that if they offer you a bagel they are determined to sleep with you, right?
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
The cat just brought me a bottle opener. I think she's my soulmate.
I'd ask how but then you'd tell me.
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