and next time when you feel me up, do it right
Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
just ran into my gynecologist at the liquor store... i think she's found the source of my problems
No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
As an added realisation of today. If we used the last time I got laid as a conceiving date I would have a two week old baby. It's been too long...
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
Randomize
