Quick, to the slutcave!
I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
This hobo said he can't buy alcohol bc he got in trouble bc a girl sat on his face when he was passed out and misaligned his spine and gave him Alzheimer's so Ali is buying him a bottle. This is Vegas.
Worst case scenario, I put a giant cork in your vagina so you don't give birth before my birthday
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
Just don’t be like me and break up between Christmas and NYE and then get blackout on NYE and puke in your undies.
So, I can officially cross "getting eaten out in a church confession booth" off my bucket list.
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
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