Having a random hookup so left but love u
Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
You were right. It hurts to walk today.
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.
This is the point in ur life where u should realize there's nothing left but a spiral of shame
I should but I don't. All I see is an escalator of success
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
Randomize
