How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
So my ex just asked for my address to send me his wedding invitation... in Europe. Awesome.
That’s basically a green light to fuck his dad
I think I should write my liver a thank you note. If it had my work ethic, I would be dead now.
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
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