I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
New dating criteria: what kind of ex will this person be?
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
Accidentally drunk dialed my mom last night. Started the conversation with "Where you at girl?"
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
Randomize
