in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
I feel great
I just peed on a car
sleeping like a two year old who chased ambien with a bottle of whiskey.
The pickup line "You look exactly like my sister" would only work in Arkansas...SCORE!!
Maybe i shouldn't have told him the key to getting in my pants was double vodka sodas and Nelly's song "grillz."
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
He just told me that when we were doing it I told him I was the captain and he was the boat. Im too embarassed to ask for money for a cab.
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
So! As of five minutes ago I've officially masturbated in every room in my apartment
Dude, I helped you move in yesterday...
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