if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
Woke up handcuffed to a half gallon of beam. Yep. This is my life.
This spray tan I used isn't working out. I spent an hour exfoliating and rubbing the damn stuff in with rubber gloves. I wanted the alluring, sun-kissed, sexy look. I've achieved smelling like burnt popcorn and the cats won't stop licking me. I'm a salt lick for cats.
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
Oh. My. God. Dad smoked a bowl. He's been playing cards...I just told a story and when I was done, he got really close to my face and very seriously asked me if he had cheese in his beard. I'm about to die.
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
Randomize
