i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
tell me how a rose bowl party involves waking up to find a raccoon in my kitchen cabinet eating my oreos the next morning?
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
You need to let me be on top sometimes. I gotta get rid of these love handles
I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
The fact that you screamed, "Alf is my spirit animal!" is proof enough that we're too old for peyote.
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
Randomize
