did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
If I had pants on, you wouldn't be getting this text message
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
He snapchated me a photo of his penis with the caption "it needs a home".
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
What happened last night dude?
YOU SHIT ON MY FUCKING COFFE TABLE THATS WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED!!!
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
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