I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
apparently, "please pick me up from the airport" also means "i got drunk on the flight and need to give you roadhead in broad daylight"
I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
I'm eating lunch next to a table of beautiful culturally-diverse women chattering away happily. It's like sitting next to a Yaz commercial.
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
My night sucks. It's really hard to masturbate with a broken finger.
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
Randomize
