She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
Just asked my roommate if she needs one of my old pill bottles to hold her weed during our move tomorrow. What has grad school done to me?
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
This toilet bowl is my home.
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
Randomize
