Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
I went to go pee and found a strand of your hair wrapped around my penis.
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
That awkward moment when your drug dealer pulls your boss out of the snow
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
don't worry dude i have your phone, text me when youre gonna come get it
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
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