they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
if you made me into a cookie and threw me into a betty crocker easy bake oven on christmas morning...that's how baked i am
when i told him i was pregnant with his baby he texted me 'congradulations'
i pity the fetus.
There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
I drink more single than I do in relationships. Except with assface.
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
The notification you get from snapchat that someone took a screenie is like a formal declaration of blackmail.
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
I’m really upset they canceled the conference. Since the divorce I’ve been working out, I bought cute new outfits and even found a bikini I liked. Now it’s all online. You can’t get laid at a webinar
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