I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
I need to calm my uterus...
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
Randomize
