my dad just told me that a lesbian kissed my mom at a bar last year
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
The only thing that would make my night better is if William Shatner came and read me a bedtime story.
just woke up face down in my kitchen covered in cheetos. my mom just stepped over me to get to the coffee maker. hello summer
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
Randomize
