playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
Everyone knows that the fastest route to a corporate advancement is to take a shot in the mouth
Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
Coming home soaking wet at three am and trying to convince the front desk man that we came from the library might have worked if I wasn't also roaring at everything.
Why do they give me cups on $8 pitcher night? I HAVE A PITCHER.
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
not sure if destroying him emotionally was worth it but damn it's a fucking hilarious story
Help me help you realize you are a moron
We ran out of vodka, so instead of body shots you wanted to do cupcake shots off her naked body...happy birthday to you.
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
Randomize
