my mom just served us mashed potatoes with an ice cream scoop. When I asked her why, she said she thought it would make dinner 'more fancy'...
How do I say to her "Have you eaten mango lately because my penis had an allergic reaction"
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
sometimes i feel like my only option in life is to be drunk or be a cat. today i am drunk
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
I want a shirt that says, "I'm sorry for the things I said when it was Taco Tuesday"
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
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