i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
getting caught by my parents in bed with another guy was way easier coming out than telling them over dinner like I had planned.
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
Just caused a nice traffic jam while trying to park at Costco. Too high to drive.
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
We didn't have a blender so we made the margaritas by running over a garbagebag full of ice with the car and then stirring it with a knife in a French-press coffee pot. CAN YOU SAY RESOURCEFUL?
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
I like how my motivation to lose weight is so I can wear a nude bikini and get covered in body paint for the tribal party. Priorities.
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
All of my friends are talking about changing their lives because they have an alcohol addiction and I'm over here reminding my boss that it's national beer day.
I went to Walmart last night to buy some CDs--which is a sentence I never thought I'd say in 2016.
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
Randomize
