everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
it was like eating out sand paper
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
They flooded the bathroom and their version of cleaning it up was to throw our couch cushions on it. That's when I decided to chug tequila and go drunk bowling. So hitting the kid with my ball is really their fault.
We will go to karaoke
Okay, well, i'm covered in paint, haven't showered & have already been drinking, so if I fall on the floor in a blaze of depeche mode & beer tears, you can't pretend you don't know me
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
Found someone cuddling with my Uggs this morning. Guess the hundred pillows laying next to him weren't good enough.
Randomize
