The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
I am about to be in my happy place. (the shower with a 6 pack)
if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
We're going to watch the inauguration and fuck. Or fuck and watch the inauguration, I'm not picky, just get your ass over here by ten.
Randomize
