Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
Dear God. I kissed a man tonight who was born in 1936.
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
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