My mom gets in bar fights. She doesn't go to bed early.
just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
CORAL IS FAR MORE RED THAN HER LIPS RED
Oh god you're Sonnet 130 drunk, aren't you.
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
Not gonna lie, Wednesday was the perfect day to get laid off, all I've done since is watch the Simpsons marathon
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
Randomize
