It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
What is the protocol for an "i'm sorry I had my ex retrieve me from the bar so I didn't drive drunk" blow job
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
He came over last night and as soon as we started having sex Siri announced "you've arrived at your destination." I think it was some kinda sign
I told people at my moms bar that all I needed to sober up was to get my asshole licked, and I blame you 110%.
Believe me honey Imma fuck the discount out of at least one plastic surgeon in my life
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
My mom purposely got me drunk so I can stay at her house bc "we don't spend enough time together." I blacked out anyway, so we didn't spend time together regardless.
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
Randomize
