Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
Driving you two to the party with a keg belted into the back seat has given me a brief glimpse of parenthood. I am now more resolved than ever to never breed, so thanks for that.
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
Randomize
