go do what you do best...puke behind churches
Moan for me like Helen Keller
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
Honey, I don't care how "classic you" this is. It's not gonna matter if we can't find you in the morning.
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
So I spent all night thinking my bed was floating down a river and telling the cats to get on the bed because they were going to float away. Percocet is strong shit.
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
I fell asleep giving a handjob, had a sex dream about giving a handjob, and woke up giving a handjob. Life.
I'm like, not good at living.
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
Randomize
