Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
I'm so drunk I cant read cursive anymore.
i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
He finally admitted that he was drunk when I asked him how he got the rug burn on his chin and he replied "the worm contest"
they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
Said he had been eating pineapple for a week before our 1st date. Not sure if thankful for his consideration or offended by his assumption.
nothing says "functioning mature adult" like sneaking beer out of your mom's fridge in a lunchbox
Try explaining "the nature of your relationship" to a cop when your fuck buddy vandalized your car. Priceless.
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
Randomize
