It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
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