Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
i just woke up reverse cowgirl on my couch. fully clothed. my laptop is on the floor sideways. blasting gay porn and lady gaga. pizza crust everywhere. goodmorning.
I know that was a dream because I woke up and there was no pizza
The hookers weren't a dream get tested
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
In the world of sexual, erotic texting, you rank somewhere between "how much teeth do you want" and "how dry do you want it"
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet.
i mean i let him but still...
He'll only communicate through snapchat with pictures of him holding his cat or his dick. Bit of Russian roulette opening them in public but I did it anyway.
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
Thanks for wearing matching bob ross shirts to the bar with me and referring to every guy as a happy little accident
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
Randomize
