why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
trust me, you don't know shame until you're in a peacock costume getting CPR by random dudes
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
Didn't realize he fucked me in a bed a dog is always in until my face swelled two sizes and I had hives all over my body. This is God's way of punishing me for having amazing sex.
She was wearing American flag underwear. How could I NOT fuck her?
You're a true patriot.
My autobiography will be 500 pages of the words "I probably should've thought this through" typed over and over.
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
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