youre lurking in front of me
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
You just kept mumbling, "Shit shit shit, the muffin man owes me money." Repeatedly.
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
It's like....nice talking about real estate but your son gave me herpes
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
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