Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
...I can smell the alcohol on your breath through that text
I'm so hung over that I'm pretty sure I can feel the earth's rotations when I close my eyes.
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
.......he just venmo charged me for the burrito I was eating while he broke up with me
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
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