I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
You make shower sex sound like waterboarding
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
Found an old burrito under my bed
You are a sick fuck
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
He sent me a pic of his coffee mug to be like "I'm having coffee too.” \nImagine that. Morning coffee. In your boring ass mug. Dick pic or gtfo.
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
Randomize
