What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
Rule #1. Nothing comes between you and fantasy sports. Not even a hot chick willing to give you a blow job
it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
You are two creepy Justin Bieber quotes away from me not talking to you for the rest of the day
If I had a pelvic thrust emoticon, I would use it
Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
Stop chatting and get in the fucking car. I didn't get my asexual ass out of bed just to watch you flirt and fail with someone you're never going to see again.
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Randomize
