all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
you spent the rest of the night making a recipe for mixed drink called "the new years bowel remover". it has 13 parts but judging from the bold all caps, the boiled avocado is the most important
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
You fell asleep mid blowjob with my vibrator in your HAND. So no, I will not bring you pizza.
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
Randomize
