youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party
Banjos are just sex machines. Like lights to moths, banjos are to hipster bitches.
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
Today's weekday brunch started at 2pm, and consisted of $7 of sandwich and $50 of cocktails. Also, I hustled the bartender for about $3 playing nickel poker, but he may have been letting me win. Either way, he didn't get into my pants.
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
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