I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"
make sure nobody uses the downstairs toilet. i like to have an unused toilet for the weekends. dont shit where you puke i always say.
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
Pretty sure they aren't letting me back to karaoke night after I screamed "fuck every one of you tasteless hillbillies!!" because I felt they didn't clap loud enough for Jen.
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
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