Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
I am in a hotel room with 10 people. John is in bed eating an industrial sized pan of mashed potatoes. I think a non insignificant number of people saw my nipples.
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
Randomize
