I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
Fairly certain I called dibs on your lesbian virginity last night
Also I climbed atop a mailbox with a toilet paper hat and a wolverine claw made of glowsticks, screaming at passers-by that they were going to die. Control me
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
Shitty. Well if it makes you feel any better I just had a toothless wasted crackhead in my bar who was mad because there are TOO MANY FUCKIN TREES in Nantucket.
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
Of course he’s picking me up at the airport. I taught him the Lotus position last time we had sex.
Randomize
